(#644) VIDEO: ROMMEL ANACAN - SAY SORRY EVEN WHEN YOU DON'T WANT TO
DO YOU HAVE AN UPSET RESIDENT? That might be happening a lot more right now and for reasons outside of your control.
WATCH THIS VIDEO AND LEARN HOW TO RESOLVE THIS TRICKY SITUATION THE RIGHT WAY… EVEN WHEN YOU AREN’T AT FAULT.
ROMMEL ANACAN JOINS SPROUT AGAIN!
You’ll find out what to say, why you should, and what NOT to say when someone is upset at you. Master these skills and make your life so much better (and easier)!
Get to the heart of the matter:
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THEY SAY: “I’M ANGRY, HURT, AND UPSET.” YOU SAY: “I’M SORRY.”
You know this one! You say, “I am sorry.” That is the most useful thing you can do to start making things better. That alone is powerful and shows that you are ready to fix the situation. You are empathetic to their situation, and you genuinely care!
YOU MAY NOT BE SORRY.
“YOU should apologize to ME!” Hold it right there, bud. You may not agree with your resident’s thinking or actions or think they are unreasonable and overdramatic with no legitimate reason! Listen, if you don’t say sorry and try to diffuse the situation right away, you will make it so much worse for everyone later. No doubt, your resident will remember this instance when renewals come around. That relationship will be affected. If they ARE indeed overreacting, trust us, they’ll realize it later. They’ll appreciate that you were calm and serene, empathetic, and helpful.
LISTEN - EMPATHETICALLY AND PATIENTLY
Couple your sincere apology with the reason that you’ve upset this person. This is not the time to offer up excuses! Just acknowledge their feelings, that you messed up, and that you are remorseful. A good formula? “I’m sorry that (fill in with what you did to validate their feelings).” Here are some scenarios.
You lost track of time and were late to lunch. Say: I’m sorry. I can see how you feel I took advantage and didn’t tell you I’d be 30 minutes late and just figured you’d be ok with it.
You got carried away in a meeting and interrupted someone! Say: I’m sorry that I interrupted you during that meeting. I was insensitive.
I’M SORRY YOU “FEEL” THAT WAY
GASP! Huge no-no! This is a trigger phrase that makes people feel worse and less likely even to hear what you are saying. Whatever efforts you are putting forth to fix the situation are null and void. Saying “I’m sorry you feel this way” or “I’m sorry you took it this way” is saying: I’m sorry you are a moron. Super disrespectful and NOT in our vocab - ever.
ASK FOR FORGIVENESS
Ok, let’s wrap this up. You acknowledge their feelings, you said sorry (and for what precisely you’re sorry for), and now you ask for forgiveness. Show that you want to move forward with your relationship with this person. Actually say it, though, “Will you forgive me?”
You messed up, or at least this person thinks you did, so seize this opportunity to show some humility. Say sorry and show that you’d like to fix it and move on. It’s best for everyone. Trust us - we know it’s not easy to say sorry, and we’ve all been there before. But coming out on the other side we can tell you it’s the best decision and you won’t regret saying it the right way.
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